Do you think that you are a good enough parent?

It’s a thought that tortures many, including me!

The concept of "good enough parenting," introduced by psychologist Donald Winnicott, resonated with me when I was juggling motherhood and mental illness. Yet, during a recent training, someone challenged me, arguing that children deserve more than "JUST good enough." Their response struck a nerve, as this concept can bring me comfort during difficult times.

I’m a mother of four, and each child has seen a different version of me. With my firstborn, I was steeped in parenting “rules”—Gina Ford schedules, cloth nappies, and rigid routines. I remember the anxiety of trying to get it all right,

My mother-in-law’s advice adding to the pressure: “Don't pick her up!” Each moment seemed to carry the weight of "good or bad" parenting.

As my family grew, my relentless pursuit of perfection unravelled! By the time my second child arrived, my strict approach proved unsustainable, and I fell into postnatal depression. Juggling two young children while building a business, I overlooked my own wellbeing, barely taking a week off after my third and eventually reaching a crisis point during my fourth pregnancy. I found myself on the brink of despair but sought help, leading to a pivotal experience in a psychiatric ward where I received a wellness plan. That plan became my lifeline.

Recovery was gradual but transformative. Through my training as an early years practitioner, I learned the value of connection over perfection—how a simple touch builds trust and brain development, how narrating our day expands vocabulary. Yet, why aren’t new parents taught these things? Why do we focus so much on sleep schedules or if we have a 'good' baby,  rather than these small, powerful connections?

My journey taught me the importance of mental wellness, which is why I developed a Maternal Mental Wellness Workbook. This resource I wish I had! This provides expectant and new parents with a toolkit to identify their triggers, recognise signs of struggling, and know when to ask for help.

Imagine if every new parent had this plan! If, alongside advice on feeding and sleeping—if they had the confidence to trust their instinct and set healthy boundaries. 

Through my work, I see parents stressed with the same pressures I faced. At baby massage, bath babies or baby swim sessions, I address much more than techniques involved! I create a space for parents to feel supported and understood. Parents come seeking tips on sleep or soothing, but often, their real need is reassurance that struggling doesn’t mean they’re failing.

My vision is for maternal mental health to be as prioritised as physical health during pregnancy and beyond. Every parent deserves a wellness plan—a safety net for those tough days and a reminder that "good enough" really can be exactly what our children need.

So, do you still wonder if you’re a “good enough” parent? Remember, being good enough is about being there, taking care of yourself, and showing up as you are. That’s often the best thing we can do for our children.