More and more, parents are asking me for support to bond with their baby and I’m seeing posts from new parents worried that their baby isn’t smiling yet. Or isn’t copying their expressions by eight weeks.

And in the comments, I see a split: some voices of concern, and some saying, “That’s just normal. Don’t worry about it.” And sometimes they’re right.
But sometimes, just sometimes, we’re brushing off what might be a quiet call for more connection.

📱 Phones, Pressure, and Presence

Phones aren’t the enemy. They’re lifelines for many of us, especially in early motherhood.

They connect us to the outside world when we feel isolated. They hold answers when we’re unsure.
They offer a break when the noise is too much.

But they can also pull us away.

Away from the small glances. The little cues. The early signs of “I see you.”

👶 What’s Actually Normal?

You might be asking:
“Is it normal my baby isn’t smiling yet?”
“When do babies start copying?”

Let’s clear this up with some real, research-backed information:

• Reflexive smiles (from birth to around 6 weeks) are involuntary and often happen during sleep.
• Social smiles, those lovely, back-and-forth smiles, usually begin between 6 to 12 weeks. But that’s a range, not a deadline.
• Copying facial expressions develops gradually, and happens more consistently when babies have repeated, focused interactions with caregivers.

So, if your baby isn’t smiling yet at 8 weeks and they’re being spoken to, looked at, and engaged with they might just not be ready yet.

But if they’re not getting those interactions because we’re unintentionally distracted?

That’s worth pausing for.

*Research from Pathways.org and recent UK-based studies shows that these social milestones happen more consistently when babies experience regular eye contact, conversation, and shared attention with a caregiver.

🧶 A Realisation (From My 11-Year-Old)

I don’t have a baby in my arms right now, but I do have an 11 yr old who is very good at calling me out

The other day, I was “listening” to them talk about something important to them, but I was scrolling, half-focused, not really present, until they shouted:

“Mum, back in the room!”

They were half-joking… but fully serious. And they were right.

The thing is, they had the words. They had the emotional safety to say, “I need more of you.”

A baby can’t do that.

They can’t tell you to put the phone down.
They can only reach, glance, coo, and hope you’re there to respond.

🧠 What the Research Tells Us (Because I’m a bit of a geek)

Recent studies in the UK have explored the impact of phone use on bonding and responsiveness:

• A 2025 study in Infancy found that mothers using phones during everyday care (like nappy changes) were less responsive, especially when they already felt unsupported.
• A thesis from the University of Edinburgh found that frequent phone use during caregiving disrupted the back-and-forth rhythm of smiles, eye contact, and coos that helps babies feel safe.
• A 2024 cluster study showed that mums with mental health challenges were more likely to use phones during caregiving, and less likely to respond to their baby’s social signals.

Putting your phone down for even a few extra minutes can help your baby feel more connected, and give you more chances to talk, smile, and respond.

💛 Bonding Isn’t Always Easy and That’s Okay

If you’re finding it hard to feel connected to your baby, if you’re still waiting for the smile, or feeling unsure, you’re not alone.

Bonding doesn’t always happen right away. It builds over time, through everyday moments.

And when we’re tired, touched out, or carrying trauma, phones can easily become the thing we reach for instead of reaching in.

That’s not failure.
It’s a sign you need support too.

🌱 Three Simple Ways to Reconnect

1. Choose one phone-free moment each day.
   Feeding, bath time, nappy changes—pick one and focus just on your baby.
2. Narrate your actions.
   If you do need your phone, say it out loud:
   “I’m just checking the time, sweetheart.”
   It helps your baby stay connected to you.
3. Pause before you scroll.
   Look into their eyes. Smile. Give them a chance to smile back.

These aren’t big changes, but they can have a big impact.

✨ If the Smiles Are Taking Longer…

It’s not a sign you’re doing something wrong.

It’s a sign your baby is still learning how to connect, and you can help them get there.

When you have the right support and space to be more present, those moments of connection often follow.

And sometimes, the smile does too.

💌 Want more support?

If you’re ready for small steps that help you reconnect with yourself and your baby, the Maternal Wellness Workbook is a good place to begin.

Because bonding isn’t about getting it perfect.
It’s about feeling safe enough to show up just as you are!

You’re doing more than you realise.

With love,
Leanne X