Expecting a new baby can be an overwhelming and exciting time. Traditional ante-natal classes can guide you through creating your birth plan and the birthing process and will provide advice on feeding, changing and recovering physically from your pregnancy but not many go further than this. It doesn’t matter if this is your first baby of you have already been through a previous pregnancy and birth. For each journey it’s important to think about how you plan to bond with your baby right from the start. Research has shown that early bonding and communication with your baby are crucial for emotional development, wellbeing and overall growth.

 In this blog, I’m going to share with you 5 things the parents I work with say they wish they knew before their baby was born!!

You can bond with your baby BEFORE they are born!

Most parents are aware that babies can hear when in the womb, some parents even make an effort to talk to their babies or encourage partners to do so but not many parents I have worked with have thought about this as pre-natal bonding with their baby!

Next time you touch your bump take a pause and see if your baby reacts and kicks back or next time your baby kicks, gently touch them back to acknowledge this. You can start to share stories with your bump, talk, sing and dance with them! Pick one book you really love and read it over and over again, your baby will recognise the tone and rhythm of the book as you read it after they are born. Keep your baby in mind, you can practice mindful breathing or relaxation techniques which will help reduce stress for you and your baby. Perhaps even consider keeping a pregnancy journal and take time each day to check in continuous with baby to create a deeper connection with your little one before birth.

Your personality can determine your parenting style

Understanding and identifying parenting styles can help build strong foundations in your household. Your parenting style or approach may differ from your partners or your parents and it may take some communication to create a harmonious household.  Take some time to research different parenting philosophies, this could include your attachment style, approaches to discipline or simple what your family values are. Discussing these before baby arrives can help ensure everyone in your household is on the same page and help filter our unhelpful advice from well-meaning others. In addition to researching, you can participate in a community or programs like “Beyond Survival – Thrive in your next pregnancy” where you can get valuable insight on how to nurture your baby and identify your parenting style.

Make time for self-care or it makes time for you

How many times have you burnt out thinking if I can just get past this week I will relax? A healthy, well rested and emotionally balanced Mum is better equipped to respond to their babies needs. In this fast-paced world it’s too easy to say we don’t have the time but in reality….  what time have you burned scrolling today when you could have had some focused relaxation? Don’t get me wrong, this takes focus and discipline to start and keep up daily self-care practices but carving out just 10 minutes a day can have incredible results on your wellbeing. This could be 10 minutes of an activity that brings you joy such as sewing or playing an instrument or something which can help ground you and reduce stress such as yoga or a short walk. Your mental and physical wellbeing are really important at this time. If you would like more guidance to create short self-care routines, my Maternal Wellness Workbook is a great resource to get you started.

Your support system is never who you think

Relationships change when you have a baby. Even those who were there when you had your first baby are unlikely to stay around to help change nappies on your third child. That’s not to say these people aren’t still your friends but your support system can look very different. One mum I worked with found that their neighbour 3 doors down who’s children have flown the nest is suddenly the person they are having coffee on a Tuesday afternoon with after they burst into tears in the middle of the street and this ‘stranger’ comforted them. There is always a village out there for you but it’s rare that they will knock on your door. You need to go out and find them or find a community online that fits with your parenting styles and goals. Even if you have a great partner and supportive parents there is always room for a wider community who can help you become the best mum you can to your baby. Pop over to The Village, my Facebook community where you can find more support, share your experiences and build connections with other parents and parents to be.

Less is more with your baby

How much time have you put into looking at what ‘things’ you will need for when your baby arrives? Of course, you must set up a crib of some form and have basic clothes and toiletries, but babies really don’t need very much. Time and time again, parents tell me how they stressed to buy the perfect ‘toys’ to help with every aspect of child development but often they went unused or distracted them from the precious 1-2-1 time that they had. Of course, the more you and your home are prepared for bringing baby home, the more confident you will be, so it makes sense that whilst preparing the crib and wardrobe you prepare yourself emotionally for this transition too.

These parents didn’t know that building strong foundations to support them and their baby in the postnatal period started before the baby arrived. BUT, by using these 5 tips, you can be prepared to be the best Mum that you can be and create lasting bonds that will support both your baby’s wellbeing and your own.

With Love,

Leanne X